my simple thoughts!

back to the year of 2017-2018, the worst years ever in my life when i did so many unexpected bad things and some negative emotions during that time. That was my lowest point which i never imagined would happen. It is really true what people have said, that life is like a roller coaster. Sometimes you are in the top, and then you go downward and back again to the top. life is pretty much a crap shot. endless roller coaster of pleasure and suffering. wondering why pleasure taught me nothing but craving for more pleasure. suffering on the other hand, drown me into deep stress that i cant cope with. and because of this, i am too familiar with depression, sadness, guiltiness and self-isolation. these things just make it worse. I started to not knowing my self-concept. what was i trying to look for? i've lost my self. and no one noticed my broken soul. i keep going because i have to. i choose to be okay because i have no choice. No matter how bad i felt, i have to suit up and show up

it's been so long i didn't post anything here. Currently i am thinking of how writing is truly beneficial for my career. Since i've become a lecturer, i am expected to produce a publication, which means I have to WRITE a scientific paper continuously. Maybe some people argue that scientific paper doesnt in line with blog writing, but trust me they're actually the same! your writing ability is fully required when writing in any form, be it scientific, informal or even only for social media posting. Writing abilities consist of structure, punctuation, vocabulary, grammar, and coherent. haha sounds so english subject ya wkwkw anyway in short, thats why today i am going to start writing again. Actually i've been VERY busy lately preparing my research proposal and lecturing and scoring and doing all chores at home etc etc. i spent like almost 10 hours a day in front of my laptop to read many journal papers. will tell you later  coz it's a very long long story o